But something else was on my mind

Dating a white guy as a black woman

This further marginalizes us by making it seem like we are something exotic, elusive, and mysterious. Try to think of a black woman as an individual, and not as the chosen speaker for a whole diverse group.

The guy did, in fact, have some kind of black girl fetish. After we were seated I asked him how many black girls he'd dated.

This further marginalizes us by

These are harmful stereotypes that will not only make your black partner uncomfortable, they will further marginalize them. Most white men are unaware of the microaggressions towards their black partner that make their chances for a second date slim to none. While white men are not the only group to hold racial biases and stereotypes against black women, they tend to be the least informed on the racialized and gendered issues that black women endure.

His dad played Santa Claus in various malls below the Mason-Dixon line during the yuletide season. In other words, you should be looking at the whole person, and not a one-dimensional archetype of a black woman. This guy was from Georgia.

Try to think of a

He's a white guy with a pickup truck. White men navigate society with relative ease while black women are teetering on the precarious margins of race and gender that they do not have the privilege to ignore.

Whenever we went somewhere with a lot of black people in attendance, I got the side eye from some of them. And the one or two white guys in the mix had hair. But black women are fully fleshed, three dimensional human beings with varying thoughts, abilities, values, and passions. This was bound to be a disaster. But no relationship's perfect.